i was just reading a blog post from my dear friend jacquie's blog, about how habits form us. for example, she mentions the practice of generosity makes us generous, patience patient - and likewise practicing envy makes us envious, gluttony gluttonous.
of course, i'm no fan of gluttony. i "did simple living" for a year of internship and intentional community with sojourners, i spent time at a monastery last summer, i've been on lots and lots of mission trips that have conveyed to me the great big gap that exists between poverty and wealth, in our own country and internationally. blah, blah, blah - hopefully we've all had experiences that make us want to live more austere lifestyles - if nothing more than a beggar on the street or a commercial about a starving kid in a developing country (though i think it is very easy not to be sensitized to either of these situations - i know i'm not usually especially moved by either one - call me cold-hearted - maybe i am in some ways, but i also know that i've cried way too many tears about the pain and suffering of those enduring such to be entirely cold-hearted).
anyway - i'm actually more a fan of moderation. at the soj, our intern class allowed its members to do the travelling each one deemed necessary (in my case, visiting grad schools), and we decided that some processed foods like tortilla chips and salsa were acceptable for inclusion in our community purchases. and the monastery i spent time in was a benedictine one - an order which has always tended toward the moderate - as sister lynne said, community is our...oh, shoot - basically, living in community is the difficult practice we adhere to. we don't take vows of poverty, of hunger, etc. - rather, we commit ourselves to the difficult practice of living life together. that is enough.
that's why i like moderation - and why i like community.
but really all of that commentary is less here than there.
what the words "gluttony" and "habits" got me to thinking of is...one of my favorite things: indulging.
it kind of goes along with my gratitude for the "sense of the special" i inherited from my mom (or a sense of the "speshool," as i spelled it once in a mother's day card, i believe) - the red plate meant for birthdays and good report cards, overflowing easter baskets, st. patrick's day cards, halloween socks. i also inherited this from college hall-neighbors who always had a stash of dove dark chocolates at the ready for any down-moment, blah-day, or necessary celebration.
i may just blow my mind a little bit here - because i'm finding myself come to some theological language here - "sabbath." sabbath is most certainly in the category of practices, habits - i would purport it to be a good one. and i think the word sabbath holds in tension two things that can seem like polar opposites: rest/simplicity and enjoyment of the fullness of life. in college, we talked about sabbath practices that we could take up - including some examples like not buying anything on sunday, not driving anywhere, etc. - things that allow other people who usually serve us to rest, allow the earth to rest, allow us to rest, etc. but the notion is that you also have to give something up in order to make those things happen (a sense of productivity, busy-ness, comfort, etc.). but of course you're not forbidden from enjoyment by making your life more simple - rather, the idea is that you might actually enjoy life more if you take time for rest and simplicity.
however, the two can of course come into conflict. some folks' sunday/sabbath practice for their meal after church is to go out to eat - we shall rest by not cooking our own meal, we shall enjoy the fullness of life by eating a nice meal. other folks' sunday/sabbath practice for their post-worship meal is to eat a family meal - we shall let others rest by not going out, we shall enjoy the fullness of life by enjoying family time together, we shall enjoy the fullness of life by taking the time to cook a meal together. and of course the idea in the jewish tradition, seventh day adventist tradition, and some conservative churches (for some reason, i remember reading of this in the little house on the prairie) is that you absolutely rest on the sabbath - thus you prepare everything before sundown the day before, so that there is no work left to do on the sabbath, including meal prep - for you or anyone else.
of course, i don't have any real "moral of the story" or point here - just reflections on what it might mean to have a habit of indulging. does indulging make us big, fat americans? (my hunch: i don't think so, necessarily - i don't think there's much a "sense of the special" that goes along with "biggie-sizing" something - such an act feels to me like something that tends to be more mindless - not so special, not much a sense of indulgence, but a sense of "wow, i could get even more for just a few more cents - of course. more is better, discounts are good." i say this, also recognizing that i'm sure there are plenty of folk out there for who the biggie-sizing act is the ultimate "big treat" for the week or month or year. i also do not pretend to be exempt from the "more is better, discounts are good" mindset sometimes, nor do i pretend to be incredibly austere and simple in my living. i live comfortably enough for the moment.)
or does indulging make us people who savor life - and who seek to create conditions of life for others which might be restful and joyful?
i sure as hell (this is funny, because i don't believe in hell - this is purely a colloquial turn of phrase for me) hope it's the latter, because i love me some dove dark chocolates, happy birthday banners, naps, retreats, massages, having my bit of fun before getting to work, good meals at home and in restaurants, a good cup of coffee, a good cup of tea, a fun card, a leisurely breakfast, a good movie, a new piece of clothing i've either been meaning to buy or just jumped out and grabbed me, a fabulous pair of earrings, a bouquet of cut flowers, a nice walk through a farmer's market, a long phone call, a hearty laugh,...,...,...
another tension i have a hard time holding for myself is again this tension between myself resting/enjoying and others resting/enjoying - when the savoring of life comes into conflict with the sense of justice and working toward conditions of life that are restful and joyful for all. so it's not only about eating out or eating in. my happy birthday banner was probably made in a factory in china, my earrings and piece of clothing also - my coffee, tea, chocolates, and flowers likely from farms where the farmers were paid not-near-enough to support them and their families. the movie i see may perpetuate a million stereotypes. can i perhaps continue to take joy in those things as they are - while also striving and working toward a world where all farmers and workers are paid fair wages and treated humanely?
jeez, i hope so. it comes back to the moderation and community piece. i love me a good piece of chocolate - and my community comes back and tells me, that's great - eat this fair trade, quality-chocolate one, instead of this not-so-great, processed, not-so-fair-trade one.
sometimes all the fun or positive meaning might be sucked out of an item or activity, by learning more about it and the conditions of its production - ex: i don't ever want a diamond ring (i hadn't ever had that cultural expectation ingrained in me anyway, though). but i like a good piece of sausage on occasion (whether i can find it local or grocery-store), i'm going to eat most any chocolate in front of me, etc.
i have a feeling that not one sentence of this post makes sense, as it is late, and my thoughts were already scattered.
so i end.
love.
jessica
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