life in community

I absolutely love when Peter (the pastor of Calvary UMC, my church placement this year) uses language like he did today in introducing me to the congregation today - Jessica will be living, working, and sharing life together with the Calvary community this year. Isn't that splendid?

Definitely helpful when I begin to think that I'm not so keen on becoming any kind of be-all, end-all of a congregation, having to stand in front of a congregation and give a relevant, inspirational message to a body of people every week, and being in tune with a congregation's needs all the time. I wonder if I could be a part-time monastic, part-time congregational leader, part-time activist/direct service person/justice worker - would the bishop let me do that? That starts to get into the whole deacon/elder distinction, I suppose - that's a post in and of itself - what a deacon's "supposed" to be, versus what it has been and is becoming in reality. I find myself more and more wishing that the order of the deacon could be appreciated, celebrated, etc. in its own right - as an exciting possibility for the way the church could be in the world - instead of a second-class clergy position without all the privileges an elder has. I don't care anything about becoming a bishop - unless God calls me to it - but I feel like the eucharist and baptism are sacraments that should be shared in a radically equal way to all of God's people, and it's going to take those of us who are daring to step out of the church as bridge-builders...um, yeah - an entirely different post is necessary for this - and an ongoing conversation. I'm finding that it's when I'm standing up for what the deacon is supposed to be about that I get most fired up about ministry - and when I'm having one-on-one conversations with folks. Otherwise, the idea of representing the church and feeling very literally tied to the church - not always feeling it these days.

Another note - currently reading (for the Formation paper due today) Benedict's Rule governing the way monastic communities should function - interesting and of course uber-patriarchal. I just found myself wondering if alternative monastic communities are effective, or if we need to be focusing on ways for society as a whole to be more communally-minded - didn't we have this conversation around "Christ and Culture" toward the beginning of last year? Still no answers - except that we must seek balance, and it's a both/and solution. Possibly a God, Economy, and Poverty paper topic - I don't know.