You're gonna make it after all

"Who can turn the world on with her smile?

Who can take a nothing day, and suddenly make it all seem worthwhile?
Well it's you girl, and you should know it
With each glance and every little movement you show it
Love is all around, no need to waste it
You can have a town, why don't you take it
You're gonna make it after all
You're gonna make it after all
How will you make it on your own?
This world is awfully big, girl this time you're all alone
But it's time you started living
It's time you let someone else do some giving
Love is all around, no need to waste it
You can have a town, why don't you take it
You're gonna make it after all
You're gonna make it after all"

--

I just had a sense of the exhilaration, the invigorating feeling, of figuring out life for one's self.

When I came back from a semester in Chile in undergrad, I had the chance to talk with a class about my experience studying abroad.  I described to the class the day I managed to navigate the city of Santiago via taxi, bus, and subway, and procure and communicate via cell phone there.  As I was describing the feeling of independence and competence that accompanied that day, the theme of the Mary Tyler Moore show came to me - "You're gonna make it after all!"

--

As I was making my way up the elevator this evening to our assistants away space condo, the same song popped into my head.  I had the sense of the thrilling and satisfying nature of each new stage of life - figuring out how to navigate life.

It didn't occur to me in that moment, but I'm oddly in a similar stage of figuring out those exact 2 life-navigation pieces for myself again.  I'm... [cue dramatic music] preparing to leave the family cell phone plan.  Goodbye safety net.  Hello Republic Wireless - simpler, cheaper, more freedom, a bit more responsibility for decision-making and ensuring I pay the bill on time - and [cue same dramatic music] parting ways with the family... cell plan.

This process of seeking and finding some next stage of cell phone-ness has been an oddly symbolic one.  It's seemed to hold a lot of meaning for me.  Here I am, 30 years old, and I'm finally venturing out on my own into the land of an individual cell phone plan.  Not just for a few months while I navigate a thrilling new country to study in.  But a next step into the vast unknowns of adulthood - where I'm more and more responsible for myself.

And it's a responsibility, an independence, that I'm freely choosing.  My mom wasn't with me in Chile, so she couldn't have helped me get a cell phone there if she wanted to.  But now - I could indeed stick with the family plan.  I could ride the waves of inertia.  I could ride along with my family's decisions about cell plans.  However, I'm choosing to part ways.  I'm taking responsibility for evaluating whether the current plan truly works for me, or if something else might work better for me.  Somewhat oddly, I'm also taking responsibility for evaluating whether the family's current trajectory and values - at least regarding and reflected in its cell phone plan - are coherent with my own.

And in this evaluation of both the finances and the values - I've determined that simplicity and a cheaper bottom line are more important than the ease of allowing others to make decisions for me.

Regarding the transportation navigation - I'm also seriously considering selling my car and not getting a new one.  I'd been considering leasing a car - again the simplicity factor - I desire not to have the emotional, mental, and physical burden - the constant expense, and constant uncertainty of the repairs and maintenance that my current old and dying car requires.  More recently, I've been considering the possibility of not acquiring a new car at all - in other words, "converting" to walking to the walkable locations I frequent (usually by conveniently hopping in my car), taking MARTA to locations that are MARTA-able, and possibly zipcar-ing and renting cars for other trips - along with MegaBus options and sharing rides from friends.

The car, too, was acquired on my behalf - I've previously ridden the trajectories and decisions of my family, because of its ease and convenience - perhaps even a necessity to do so.  When I lived in Santiago, I couldn't have relied on my parents' transportation helps if I or they wanted me to.  When I lived in Washington, DC, it didn't make any sense for me to have a vehicle and I knew I had supports built in to intentional community and internship in order to get where I needed to go.  And both of these experiences were experiments - 7 months, a year.

And now, at 30, I'm venturing boldly into a land where I will make decisions for myself about how I will get from point A to point B.

---

I was recently completing my annual self-evaluation for my role in L'Arche, and I realized that one major theme for me right now, in this "summer" stage of my life - is creating structures and practices in my life that are both sustainable and acknowledge values I hold for simplicity and sharing.  I'm not on a track toward wealth, nor do I want to be.  I'm not on a track toward sheltered bubble-living.  I'm on a track toward further interdependence, simplicity, and life-sharing.  I'm also on a track toward further responsibility for myself and others.  And how do I expect to navigate this path?  I adequately prepare to make sound decisions, and act on them.  I keep wise conversation partners.  And I go deeper.  I stay tapped into the well of spiritual life and connection with God that will feed me and keep me stable as I venture into the vulnerable lands I'm undoubtedly headed further into.

---

"Love is all around, no need to waste it."