leaving home - again?

for reasons partly-beknownst to me, i've been dragging my feet for months upon months to send an email to my home district of the umc in tx to have paperwork sent to the nashville district, so that i can transfer into the tn conference for my candidacy for ordination.  i discerned and decided to make this big next step back in the spring/summer 2010.  the task of sending that email request has traveled from to-do list to to-do list for months.  but i just now finally got it in me to finally do it. 

and i realized more than a few tears later...that leaving home is tough - even when you've been physically gone for more than 8 years.  my connection to the north texas conference / wichita falls district of the umc was one of my last ties to home (aside from my nuclear family, some other relatives, the house that i went to high school in, and the congregation i grew up in, of course - but i don't go to church or live in that house anymore - i only communicate with and occasionally visit my family, and now they come and visit me for holidays sometimes even).

anyway - so it means one more step into adulthood, one more jump into the abyss of this next dream of l'arche, one more push into a new beginning, a new chapter, a new(/ 3-1/2-year-old) place, etc. 

and maybe it's just that i hadn't cried in awhile, and i was due some good catharsis - but i think those tears had been building for about 6 months, not just a few weeks. 

oh, home. oh, place. oh, roots. oh, identity. oh, becoming a professional. oh, real life.